20th Century Vampire

By Joe Turner. Eloise works at the Co-op supermarket in a town in the North of England. She feels different from the people around her, dresses in black, and is unhappy much of the time, as if some piece of her life is missing. Then her mysterious Transylvanian Aunt Lucretia reveals that she is really a vampire, a hereditary condition, and she must enter training to fulfill her destiny. Eloise eventually embraces her fate, but has to deal with her boyfriend Wayne and her equally mystified co-workers at the store, including flatmate and best friend Debbie. She is horrified to find herself back in "school", with Lucretia as the teacher, even to the extent of sitting for three hour examination papers. Having been a miserable failure at exams in school despite her intelligence, she is convinced she will fail yet again.

Many thanks to Michael F for contributions to this page.

01 I Am A Vampire. Follow the adventures of trainee vampire Eloise, her boyfriend Wayne and her eccentric Transylvanian vampire tutor, Lucretia.
02 Back To School. There's an exam to sit, GCSE vampirism, and Lucretia's a tough teacher.

03 The Biggest Secret. Can trainee vampire Eloise keep the biggest secret she's ever had or will she burst trying?

04 Staff Outing. When Eloise has to go on a staff outing to the local blood donor centre, there's trouble in store.

05 Endangered Species. Trainee Eloise and tutor Lucretia discover that Mr Jenkins has the world's rarest - and tastiest - blood.

06 Love Shack. Trainee vampire Eloise and her boyfriend Wayne turn Lucretia's castle into a love shack. But will they heed her strict warning? The dramatic climax in the Co-op is pure sex and violence.